jake sciotto
boulder, co
engineer by training, problem solver by trade, terminally online millennial by choice
work
mar 2026 - present
doing my best to bankrupt the company by giving away merch. also i work with customers
jan 2024 - mar 2026
senior, dec 2024 - dec 2025
- nicknamed "mr figure shit out"
- building bleeding edge finops solutions as the linchpin between business and technology (trademark pending on this phrase)
dec 2022 - dec 2024
implemented healthcare software, coordinated cross-functional teams, led training and change management at big boy scale - what's the deal with healthcare
dec 2020 - dec 2022
- led covid-19 solution implementations for hundreds of thousands of users
- designed creative solutions for evolving requirements
aug 2020 - dec 2022
- taught computing infrastructure and networking, consulted for healthcare research
- gave every student i could extra time to submit assignments for all the teachers that did not grant me that leniency
aug 2018 - dec 2019
built power bi dashboards, developed transparent pricing strategy, performed statistical analysis - made pretty charts so people felt informed
2014 - 2017 (the before times)
helped 10 small businesses launch websites. if you are reading this i miss php
jake@portfolio:~$ skills --sort=level
jake@portfolio:~$ ▍
about
bjj blue belt
all strength, no technique. won't pull guard
verifiedproblem solver
just give me about thirty minutes i'll figure something out
verifiedcoach
i have been called the nick saban of youth sports
disputedover-educated
let's just say i will never pay off my student loan debt
verifiedsweaty
it's always shorts weather baby
verifiedhorrible bowler
what do you want from me
self-reportedafraid of horses
they are too big to be trusted
verifiedwife review
"smartest guy i have ever met"
biased source
education
m.s. data science
johns hopkins university (2020-2021)
m.s. information technology
kennesaw state (2019)
b.s. information technology
kennesaw state (2014-2018)
obsidian
204active tasks15 overduesynced 14h agoprogrammin'
all time · 4h 6m a day
spotify
Future
606 hours · 4.2%
Lil Baby 563h · Dead & Company 512h · Drake 465h · The Holdup 362h · Noah Kahan 362h
strava
1,996 activities · 9,439 miles · 18 types
synced 14h ago
projects
templated rag setup for all your data w/ embedding engine
kids bjj program leaderboard and dashboarding tool
working with ai vendors made me mad so i did this
drag and drop jiu jitsu curriculum builder
kids jiu jitsu comp sidecar app
mcp server so coaches can query gym docs from claude