jake sciotto

boulder, co

engineer by training, problem solver by trade, terminally online millennial by choice

get in touch

---years in techbut i put linux on the family computer when i was 16 so

work

mar 2026 - present

#hoglife

jan 2024 - mar 2026

senior, dec 2024 - dec 2025

- nicknamed "mr figure shit out"

- building bleeding edge finops solutions as the linchpin between business and technology (trademark pending on this phrase)

dec 2022 - dec 2024

implemented healthcare software, coordinated cross-functional teams, led training and change management at big boy scale - what's the deal with healthcare

dec 2020 - dec 2022

led covid-19 solution implementations for hundreds of thousands of users, designed creative solutions for evolving requirements - should have invested in zoom

aug 2020 - dec 2022

taught computing infrastructure and networking, consulted for healthcare research

aug 2018 - dec 2019

built power bi dashboards, developed transparent pricing strategy, performed statistical analysis - made pretty charts so people felt informed

2014 - 2017 (the before times)

helped 10 small businesses launch websites - if you are reading this i miss php

jake@portfolio:~$ skills --sort=level

saying "great question"

expertstatistics

expertfinops

expertwasting salad greens

advancedbuilding web apps

advancedpretending to understand sql

advancednaming variables

soliddatabases

solidsleeping

learningbeing on time

learningmartial arts

sucks

jake@portfolio:~$ ▍

about

in order of importance

01
bjj blue belt
→ all strength, no technique. won't pull guard
02
problem solver
→ semi-neurotic, highly technical. burdened by knowing a little bit about everything
03
coach
→ lacrosse & bjj since 2009 - have been called the nick saban of youth sports
04
over-educated
→ the debt from these 2 master's degrees is not going to pay for itself
05
sweaty
→ wherever we are i am going to be wearing shorts
06
horrible bowler
→ just one of the things i am bad at. golf as well
07
afraid of horses
→ too big to be trusted